legit-humour: nobody’s perfect i gotta twerk it
narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
diverged: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
url-goes-here: have you ever been reading something and completely understood a line of foreshadowing and just whispered “shit”
partybarackisinthehousetonight: mermaidpirate: partybarackisinthehousetonight: if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check Did you really just call Mount Olympus a hill? sorry. BIG hill
jpgbert: me awareness month (please pay attention to me i’m so lonely)
lalalafrickyou: bloody-nips: i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck “her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
Just because you’re offended, that doesn’t make you right…– Ricky Gervais (video)
One of the greatest threats we face is, simply put, bullshit. We are drowning...– Jon Lovett’s commencement address to Pitzer College. (via theatlantic)
Courtside Chemistry: How NBA's Phil Jackson Won... →
Phil Jackson once gave Shaquille O’Neal a copy of Siddhartha, a novel about a man’s search for enlightenment. He joked that O’Neal should give him a book report — and then the star actually did did. His report? “Story about a young man who’s rich, famous, good-looking and has a lot of women — just like me.”
lonelywhiteasian: lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever
bananabuttmuffin: The best road rage I’ve ever seen was this girl screaming out of her car window “I hope you don’t fuck like you drive!” I still think about that sometimes.
scareeps: those booty shorts really bring out your personality
pastelbat: The only dates i get are updates
How I feel when I Facebook stalk someone
aboutexhaleprivilege: gothicwoadie: dietchola: those black girls who wear 74027 things of jewelry so they sound like a walking maracca ah yes, those black girls that do that. the girls that do that that are black. thank you for specifying the race of the girls that wear the jewelery. the black ones Someone making a white girls joke: Someone making a black girls joke:
m-oonblaze: everyone’s getting into relationships and you know what im getting? some more food brb
vivalaausten: greydelisle: The kid behind me at Starbucks got way too excited about the last pumpkin muffin….so I ordered it.
thesockmonkeyrenegade: gracethelostgirl: lovewithyous: carolineflack: HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
painterbaker: DO YOU EVER JUST REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HARRY POTTER LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE THESE FEELINGS SWOOP IN AND PUNCH YOU IN THE HEART
dirkstirfry: my favourite part of my sexuality is that it keeps everyone guessing i mean who i am gonna be crushing on next is it a boy is it a girl is it a dead fictional character we just don’t know
footmeetsface: spoon-party-of-bombur: multipack: amyeatfeast: stopthatitssilly: alexkisu: multipack: f is for friends who do stuff without you u is for uninvited c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten k is for krispy kreme yum this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the...
When Public Service Commissioners get in cat...
buttduchess: i ain’t sayin’ she a gold-digger, but she did move west to california in 1849
maleteen: if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
roaminromans: how to play a racing game HIT EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY GO FAST NEVER USE BRAKES
imagine having someone who only wanted you and didn’t flirt with anyone else and didn’t make you uncertain whether they liked you or not